In football, the player who successfully scores a goal rarely waits for validation. He breaks into a celebration run, happily punching the air, screaming out his lungs, stretching his smile and doing the victory dance. He does not wait for appreciation from others. He chooses to bask in his own appreciation.
But my friend was not so. He played many parts: educationist, actor, singer, musician, humourist and above all an appreciator. He would be quick to appreciate the slightest of good in others. But he denied it to himself. He was always tough on himself. He was forever sacrificing for others till he sacrificed his life many years ago.
Every time, he comes to mind, he brings along a wistful emotion… of a sad life that sought happiness for others... of a giver who gave abundantly and received frugally… and the prime perpetrator was he! He did not gift himself the attitude of his appreciation. He gave others coloured clothes but wore white and black.
Our attitude is a product of experiences in our impressionable age. Negative conditioning often leads to denial of the self. William James said that the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. But when we deny ourselves the appreciation that we deserve, we mire ourselves in unhappiness.
My friend knew his many talents and capacities. Yet he denied himself the appreciation that he would so easily offer to others. If only, he had celebrated his amazing performances like the football player after netting the goal, maybe his life would have been happier. May he would have been alive for his birthday tomorrow!
Each needs appreciation for happiness to be…
Why wait for others when it can start with me?
~ Pravin Sabnis
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